By Tim Baffoe-
(CBS) Ryan Braun is an oozing abscess of gelled up hair and bad t-shirts.
Oh, yeah, he apologized Thursday for cheating and lying and trying to ruin other people’s lives in order to never have to admit to cheating and lying. The apology was fairly standard in some parts. Blame himself while trying to justify why he was a huge dbag for years.
“I kept the truth from everyone. For a long time, I was in denial and convinced myself that I had not done anything wrong.”
Emphasize that this is not the true person he is.
“What I did goes against everything I have always valued achieving through hard work and dedication, and being honest both on and off the field.”
And a bunch of other things that probably aren’t genuine.
Notice that Braun chose to issue a statement—not written by him but by PR…
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